Ungrounded
Mary Fields has started and stopped writing a book about her childhood many times. But it always begins the same: “I was born broken.”
From having an absentee father and a mother who dipped in and out of the picture to a grandmother who consistently told her she was an unwanted burden, Mary didn’t just think she was a mistake, she knew it. Mary was taken in by her paternal grandmother, a woman in her 70’s who had already raised eleven children. But it was always made clear that she wasn't wanted. No one wanted her. And Mary believed that being unwanted meant she was a broken mistake. Her extended family repeatedly told her she’d never ever amount to anything, just like her parents.
Despite believing she was worthless, their assumptions made her angry. Something deep inside of her wanted to prove them wrong. Mary was determined to fight for her worthiness and change the narrative. The anger grounded her, and she decided early on to not be who everyone thought she would be.
The Privilege of Love
Understandably, Mary stayed angry for a long time. She even admits that she’s still, sometimes, angry. But, once she hit high school she, finally, met others who treated her with kindness. Finally, at age fourteen, one of her aunts decided enough was enough. It turned out that not everyone in the family believed Mary was a worthless mistake. This aunt took Mary in and gave her a sense of belonging and love for the first time in her life. Eventually, Mary could imagine a world where she could succeed.
Making Her Future
Mary has experienced bouts of paranormal activity throughout her life and she’s no stranger to manifesting. One story has always stuck with her. While she was living, illegally, with her Mother, there was a great deal of physical abuse. One evening her mother intended to cause harm and said she didn't because she “saw” a little Indian girl in the doorway of Mart's room. Years later Mary noticed her emotional state could do things like make the lights flicker in her house.
Manifesting that which brings goodness and happiness has been carried through to her professional life, too. Once, she departed amicably with a client but was sad to see the business go. She called her friend (our host, Heather), who encouraged her to write a list of what she wanted for her business. Not soon after, two new clients contacted her for the first time. And most recently, while she was relistening to this very interview (to do the transcripts) as she listened to herself talk about manifesting new clients, she received several new inquiries to hire her.
Living With Trauma
Mary believes that we receive the same energy that we put into the world. She’s a good person with a good life, and for that, life gives her good things. She likes to celebrate life by pausing in the middle of good moments to soak them in.
Deciding to live a life of truth, not one dictated by her negligent family, has been a struggle but a worthwhile one. It’s a solid reminder that we don’t have to follow the paths others set in front of us and we aren’t defined by how others view us.
Connect with Mary
Mary Fields is a mother of four and virtual-personal assistant for independent authors. She helps writers promote their books through social media and advance-reading copy (ARC) groups. She’s also an associate producer here at the Brave Files. You can find Mary on Instagram.
